some say i'm insane, others say i'm deranged

CHAPTER FOURTEEN
 
I woke up to banging. My head was throbbing as well as well just about everything else. It was rather disorienting. It sounded like it was coming from the front of the house, I would’ve looked out the window but when I stood up I could barely make it to the bed much less find the strength to get to the window and figure out a way to look out without disturbing the sheet. Since my head was still working kind of funny through the throbbing I thought it was Logan for some reason so I just pulled the blanket over my head when the banging stopped and a loud crash erupted downstairs.
 
There was yelling, so much yelling so I covered my ears with my hands and pulled my knees to my chest as I waited for it to stop. Whoever was down there needed to stop or else Logan would just get even angrier and take it out on me. They didn’t get that the louder that it got the more it would hurt for me later. Couldn’t they just go away? Couldn’t they just leave him alone which would indirectly leave me alone? I knew that I could probably use this to my advantage but right now I was really only worrying about what Logan would do afterwards.
 
There was another crash and footsteps pounding up the stairs. What did they want now? I just wanted them to go away. They were talking rather loudly when they stopped outside my door.
 
“What the hell is this?” a deep voice said, obviously pissed off. Great did Logan get a biker gang or something to come beat me up too?
 
“Look at all those locks she has to be in there” another voice said that wasn’t as deep but obviously male.
 
‘Go away, go away, go away’ I kept thinking.
 
There was some jingling and clanging of the locks and finally a click that signaled the last one being unlocked. Oh no they couldn’t be coming in here. Logan would never let somebody in the room. If somebody came in the room then Logan would be so mad. Of course unless this was his idea to be having these guys come in the room, which I was kind of hoping wasn’t the case. I could deal with Logan because even though he was strong he was just one guy, but if a group of people came in here and started to get angry like Logan did how would I possibly get out of that?
 
I heard the door knob twist and the door being pushed open. I didn’t realize the shaking of my hands that had moved away from my ears and around my knees that were still tucked close to my chest. The blanket was still over my head so I couldn’t see who was in the room, but I could still hear them.
 
“McKale?” one of the deep voices said quietly. “McKale O’Connor?”
 
‘No, no, no,’ I kept thinking almost dreaming I was invisible instead of just hiding under a thin sheet.
 
“McKale…” the voice said again and I heard the floor board creek under a footstep.
 
I didn’t say a word but I felt a hand grab the blanket, which made my eyes widen in horror. Slowly the blanket was pulled back and I saw the group of people in black standing around me. It didn’t register to me who they were, did it really matter? Why else would they be here? Logan must’ve gotten them; I must’ve done something to make him mad.
 
“Shit…” I heard someone mutter. Then a hand reached out to me causing me to flinch and recoil back so my back was now pressed against the wall the bed was pushed against.
 
“McKale its okay,” one of them said but I didn’t believe them, Logan used to say that but he lied when he did.
 
The hand reached out for me again and I finally found my voice. “No!” I practically screamed causing that hand to retract but more pounding noise came from the hallway. Who else could be coming? Who else could Logan get? When the pounding stopped and the source appeared in the doorway, I just stared at him. What was he doing here? Why did he have to see me like this and look at me with those sad broken hearted eyes?
 
“Mickey…” Jonah said walking into the room and reaching out for me just like the other man did just moments ago. I would’ve flinched back but I knew Jonah, Jonah wouldn’t hurt me, Jonah was my best friend since I was a little kid. Slowly I put my shaky hand in his and he pulled me to a sitting position then wrapped his arms around me. “It’s okay now,” was all he said to make a flood of tears poor out of my eyes.
 
I cried so hard. I cried for the year I lost having Jonah and Poppy as my best friends. I cried because my head hurt as well as practically half my body. I cried because I was still scared that Logan would come bursting into the room. I cried for everything that has happened in the last year and Jonah let me.
 
I didn’t care that my room was full of what I learned a few hours later to be cops I was just happy that I finally was saved.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At least that’s what I thought.
 
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A CHAPTER!
Seemed like the ending almost, right?
WELL ITS NOT.
buahhahahaha

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
 
A few weeks, well I think it’s been a few weeks since Logan has locked me up in the spare bedroom. Sometimes I don’t wake up from after his visits for hours or minutes, I can never tell. I guess he realized that I can see out the window or people can see me so he stapled a sheet around the window at one point. When it comes to food if he’s in a good mood maybe he’ll bring me a sandwich and watch me eat, try to play nice. He would say he loved me, but I couldn’t believe it anymore, how could he love me and lock me away? I would smile though, and tell him a love him too, just so he wouldn’t hit me. I guess sometimes I wasn’t that convincing.
 
The time when Logan was at school I would roam around the room and try to think of a way out, a way to get someone’s attention. I couldn’t stay in here forever I just couldn’t. I thought that if I were to ever be with Logan forever it would be him marrying me after we go to college together and having like seven little kids. I never thought that this would happen; I never even thought I could fall out of love with him as fast as I did. He used to have all my heart, at least I thought he did, but the time I had alone sitting with my thoughts it was more like he had my head all along and my heart was just hibernating.
 
This afternoon Logan was at school so even though Logan stepped on my leg yesterday I still hobbled around the room trying to find a way out. There just couldn’t be no way out. I debated on pulling down the sheet stapled over the window and waving down a neighbor, but if it didn’t work and Logan came in the room with the sheet torn to the ground life would be so much worse than it already was. Giving up seemed like an option that would be the easiest, but there was something about my nature that just couldn’t let me. I guess that would explain why I didn’t give up on Logan the first time he hit me.
 
I was about to go poking around the door, try and figure out a way to unlock it from the inside again, but I heard the door downstairs slam shut. Oh no, that could only mean that he had a bad day. He never slammed the door unless he was really mad. In seconds I heard the locks being unlocked and Logan burst into the room.
 
“What did you do?” he asked, his voice no loud and angry but menacing and threatening.
 
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about” I said in hopes that he would believe me, I should know by now, he never believes me anymore.
 
“Then why is the whole school asking about you?!” Logan asked taking a step closer to me. A few weeks ago Logan decided that me being sick with the flu or whatever he told them wasn’t good enough. He made up a new alibi for me, for him. He hasn’t told me what he told everyone it was either that I ran away or I had some weird disease and went out of the state to be treated. Honestly I didn’t bother to ask him because I didn’t want to make him mad by asking or saying things that he didn’t ask me about.
 
“Logan I’ve been here the whole time,” I tried to reason, seriously I really should just tape my mouth shut, but my silence might make it worse.
 
“YOU MUST’VE DONE SOMETHING!” he yelled and shoved me to the ground, I think my entire butt must be black and blue from how many times he’s done that.
 
“I didn’t!” I yelled back, I shouldn’t have done that. I learned a long time ago that yelling back got me nowhere.
 
“LIAR!” he yelled and kicked me in the ribs. Eventually the kicks strayed from my ribs, which might have been broken in a few spots, to my arms, and eventually he kicked my head so I blacked out…
 
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CHAPTER TONIGHT!
So I think I’ll put out at least one more tonight.
Enjoy darlings :]

CHAPTER TWELVE
 
My head felt like a bomb went off inside my skull but somehow my head was still intact. Slowly I sat up in my bed and looked across the room at the mirror that was hanging on the wall. I had the nastiest looking black eye I’ve ever seen. It was so swollen I couldn’t even make out the eye socket and was practically black. When I saw it I actually ran to the trash can and threw up the little food I had in my stomach. I looked around the room for the clock but during Logan’s rampage yesterday he had apparently taken the clock out as well.
 
Standing up from the bed I walked over to the door and turned the handle, well I tried to. The thing wouldn’t budge. I jiggled it and shook the door but it wouldn’t move at all. What had Logan done? Desperately I went to the window but it was locked from the outside. How long had I been out? Not that long right? But how long did it take for someone to put locks on a door and on a window? Desperate for something to do I ventured into the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom to see if he left me any escape, but the entire thing was cleaned out besides shampoo. After a long sigh I decided the best thing to do was to waste time until Logan came back. I showered, changed my clothes, and cleaned my room over and over.
 
I thought I was going to die of boredom when I heard the door slam shut downstairs. I waited for a good twenty minutes for Logan to come upstairs, but he never did. Cautiously I said his name loudly, but he didn’t come. This time I said his name louder, still nothing. Finally I found the courage to yell for him and finally I got a response. I heard his footsteps up the stairs and then some clinging and jangling going on outside; apparently there were a lot of locks. Finally the door opened, at first I was so glad to see Logan, but when I saw his face I wasn’t.
 
“WHAT THE FU-CK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?” He yelled at me, closing the distance between us in mere seconds.
 
“I… I just wanted to see you,” I said even as I said it I knew it was a mistake.
 
“What if I had people over?!” he yelled pushing me to the ground.
 
Logan never had people over, but what would I say that wouldn’t make him mad?
 
“Don’t just sit there like a mute! Say something!” he yelled kicking my stomach causing me to double over.
 
“I’m sorry!” I said, there was nothing I could do right anymore. I never did anything right anymore.
 
“Stop saying sorry!” he yelled at me and kicked me again before grabbing the front of my shirt and pulling me off the ground.
 
“I love you…” I offered, I don’t know if I even meant it anymore, but I knew it was one of the few things that didn’t always make him mad.
 
“Good,” he said throwing me on the bed, making me prove something to him that I wasn’t even sure existed in the first place.
 
**********************************************
When he was done he left the room without saying a word. I waited until I heard him banging around the kitchen before I gathered my clothes from the floor and put them back one, my entire body shaking. It seemed like centuries ago that Logan and I had sex for the first time with actual love. Now every time he touched me I felt dirty and broken.
 
I don’t know how long I sat on my bed trying to feel normal again, but I knew it was long because when the banging on the door came the sun was gone when I looked out the window to try and see who it was. The spare bedroom was at an odd angle. The window was on the side of the house but if I turned at the right angle I could get glimpses of the doorway.
 
I heard him before I saw the flash of ginger hair.
 
“Where is she?!” Jonah yelled loud enough that I could hear him.
 
“She is sick” was all Logan would say in response.
 
“Yeah right!” Jonah said “I saw her arm! I’m not a moron!”
 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Logan said, I don’t understand how he could act so calm, probably because he had just taken all of his anger out on me.
 
“I’ll call the police! I swear I will!” Jonah threatened.
 
Logan then said something that I couldn’t hear, which made me worry. Jonah didn’t respond after that and I saw him walk away. As I saw his mess of ginger hair fade into the distance I felt something inside me fade as well.
 
The feeling that was fading was hope.
 
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BAM another chapter.
Another one tonight… I dunno.
But here ya go dearies :]

CHAPTER ELEVEN
 
I wasn’t allowed to go to school for the rest of the week. No matter what I did Logan refused to take me and he told me if I went I would never see the light of day again. He told me that he told the school that I was sick and couldn’t make it for the rest of the week. When he was gone I was bored out of my mind, there was never anything to do but sit around and watch TV. Maybe an hour a day I had to clean but that wasn’t enough. When Logan would get home from school he would act perfectly normal, I was lucky this week, he only got mad a few times. I only had a bruise on my forearm and another on my back, otherwise I was pretty good. Of course that vein in his neck would start twitching when I asked him if I could go to school, but he left before he did anything.
 
Nobody from school came to make sure I was okay, which didn’t surprise me because I didn’t have anybody that would really feel the need to make sure I wasn’t dying. Luckily though by the next week Logan had finally let me go to school again. I never thought I would miss school this much, but my absence made me realize how much school meant. Logan walked me down the hallway like he always did and it almost made me forget about the week I spent alone in that stupid house… almost.
 
Ever since he left me alone something changed, I can’t quite peg it, but something inside me changed.
 
At school though I put on my usual façade because Logan was always there, we had the same classes so what was I supposed to do? The whispers about us had died down but that didn’t mean that a few people weren’t still talking and every time Logan heard I could tell her was upset. Shockingly for the first time in a while when I got to the art room and Logan finally left I was relieved. I took my seat in the corner of the room and start to work on my painting.
 
“Nice to see you’re back” a deep voice said, when I turned my head to the side I saw that Jonah had taken a seat next to me.
 
“I was sick” I said bluntly.
 
“That’s what I heard,” Jonah said eyeing me skeptically.
 
“So what do you want Jonah?” I sighed, I was so tired with putting up with people it was like the last year plus had finally caught up to me and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
 
“Just seeing how you were, geeze no need to get all snippy,” he said and was about to walk away but stopped.
 
“What now Jonah?” I asked warily but then I realized why he had stopped. I don’t know when but sometime while I was painting I guess I had pushed up the sleeves to my cardigan because Jonah’s eyes were no staring at the hand shaped bruise on my forearm. Quickly I pulled my sleeve down but Jonah saw it.
 
“Mickey…” he said looking at me with sad eyes.
 
“Jonah…” I said looking at the clock, class was about to end and Logan would come to get me. If Logan saw me talking to Jonah, much less Jonah gawking at my arm where that bruise was, he would be so mad, no he would be furious.
 
“Did he do that McKale?” He asked pointing to my covered arm.
 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I said quickly, but he grabbed my arm and pushed the sleeve back to reveal the bruise.
 
“Tell me the truth” he said, not angrily like Logan would but like his heart was breaking.
 
“It’s nothing!” I lied yanking my arm away worried because Logan would be here any minute, but I was too late. I turned to see Logan standing in the doorway and that vein looked like it would tear his neck in half.
 
“McKale” Logan said through a smile, I knew he was upset.
 
“I have to leave Jonah,” I said backing away from the boy that used to be my best friend in the world to the guy that I thought I loved.
 
When I reached Logan he wrapped his arm around me tightly and whispered in my ear, “You whore.” He pulled me down the hallway but it wasn’t toward the janitors closet so I thought I was safe but instead he took me to the office.
 
“Excuse me ma’am but McKale isn’t feeling well and I’d like to take her home,” Logan said with a dazzling smile. It was no surprise that the secretary said that it was fine to let Logan take me home. As Logan pulled me out of school and pushed me in the car I felt tears well in my eyes. I didn’t want Logan to be mad, I was so tired of him being mad at me.
 
“Logan…” I started to say after we were out of the school parking lot and at least halfway to his house.
 
“Shut up” was all he said, his voice practically trembling with anger. Oh no.
 
When we got to his house he didn’t storm in like he usually would instead he walked over to my side of the car and pulled me out. He pulled me into the house and up the stairs and threw me in the spare bedroom onto the bed. He pulled the phone from the wall and took my cell phone while I sat on the bed not sure what to do because I didn’t really understand what he was doing.
 
“Logan what are you doing?” I finally asked even though I wasn’t sure if it was the smartest thing to do.
 
“What I should’ve done weeks ago!” he told me, I still didn’t understand.
 
“Logan wha-“ I was about to say but he cut me off by hitting me across the face.
 
“You WHORE I can’t leave you alone for less than an hour and you go talking to that ginger fag!” Logan yelled grabbing my shoulders and pinning me against the bed.
 
“I’m sorry…” was all I could say, what was I supposed to say that wouldn’t make him mad?
 
“SHUT UP!” He said and hit me again in the same spot, surely I’d have a wicked black eye.
 
“Logan” I whimpered not able to stop the tears.
 
“You are MINE McKale and you’ll stay mine,” he growled hitting me again in the same spot. Before everything went black I was able to stay conscious enough to hear the click of the lock when he left the room.
 
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DUN DUN DUHHHHHHHHHHH.
Another chapter tonight? Maybe, maybe not.

CHAPTER TEN
 
I woke up the next morning alone. Still lying on the floor I slowly moved to a sitting position, my whole body aching as I did so. Slowly I stood up and walked into the kitchen, the time on the microwave gave away the fact that school had already started, I didn’t have to walk upstairs to try and find Logan to realize that he didn’t even bother waking me up and went to school on his own. I’m sure he would make an excuse for me not being there, but still I felt hurt that he just left me alone lying on the floor without even checking to see if I was okay.
 
I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t spent this much time without Logan since… well since we started going out. Sure on the weekends he went to work but that was only for four or five hours. Today he just left me and I didn’t have any idea what I should do. The house was already spotless and I didn’t have a car to go out anywhere. Still trying to figure out what I should do I went upstairs and took a shower. The bruises that were on my stomach were large and gruesome as well were the ones shaped like hands on my thighs and arms.
 
Knowing that I wouldn’t be going anywhere I changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, I swear I had to beat dust out of them seeing as I haven’t worn anything that revealing since I had to start hiding the bruises. As I changed I couldn’t help but to stare at the bruises everywhere. I was transfixed at my reflection. For some reason I never really noticed how the deep purple had started to run into the fading yellow splotches. Whenever I saw a spot that was actually flesh toned I couldn’t help but feel surprised.
 
After so many months of being with Logan I don’t know why I never noticed any of this. Maybe it was because he never left me alone long enough for my thoughts to stray like this. I don’t know how long I staid in front of that mirror looking at myself but it was long enough for me to realize what had happened to me. I went from being loud and cheerful to quiet and sullen. I went from being best friends with Jonah and Poppy to having screaming matches with them in the hallway. I went from being McKale to Logan’s girlfriend. I’m not sure how it happened but Logan had found a way to destroy me and I didn’t know how to put myself back together. I had ruined all of my other relationships. I abandoned my best friends, I left my Mom, and I didn’t have anywhere else to go.
 
Besides who was going to believe me? Logan was the star of our school the guys wanted to be him and the girls wanted to be with him, hell even the teachers thought that way. Who was going to believe that the little art freak that was lucky enough to get Logan was actually not lucky at all. I’m not even sure if Jonah and Poppy would believe me anymore after I turned against them like that. My Mom didn’t want me, if she did then why would she have kicked me out?
 
I didn’t notice the tears running down my face, but they were there because the moment I realized what Logan has done to me I also realized that he was all I had left.
 
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ANOTHER CHAPTER
It’s a turning point right here.
Hope yalls are enjoying this story :D

CHAPTER NINE
 
Everyone knew when we got to school on Monday. It was like no matter where we went I heard whispers about how I moved in with Logan. There were people who thought I was pregnant, people that thought we were getting way to serious, and all kinds of crazy rumors. I swear I think I heard someone say that we were dealing drugs from his house. Nobody dared say something to us though, even the teachers were giving us looks but not one of them said anything. I never really understood teachers at my school, none of them ever interfered with anything student related. Someone could be murdered in their classroom and they wouldn’t do anything.
 
Logan seemed a little upset with everybody talking like that, he was always fine when they were saying good things about us but now he wasn’t all that happy about people saying bad things. He was so upset that he stormed to the bathroom, I’m guessing to get away, and told me to wait for him while he cooled down. As I stood by the door for him I wasn’t expecting anybody to have the balls to actually come up to me and ask me what the truth was, but of course I looked over the one person that would.
 
“Hey Kale” Poppy said leaning against the wall next to me.
 
“Hey Poppy” I said quietly, quickly glancing at the bathroom door to make sure Logan wasn’t coming out.
 
“Jonah said your mom called him saying that you left and moved in with Logan” she asked me, not mentioning anything about the rumors because of course Jonah would have told her what really happened.
 
“So what if I did?” I asked defensively, I did not need another person telling me that moving in with Logan was some kind of mistake.
 
“Don’t get all defensive! I was just trying to get the facts straight because just a few minutes ago I heard that you two were planning on running of to Vegas to elope!” Poppy said angrily.
 
“It’s none of your business!” I said and stomped my foot like a five year old throwing a temper tantrum.
 
“We have been best friends since first grade! Don’t tell me that being worried about you isn’t my business!” she said back, equally as angry and it was causing people to stare.
 
“We stopped being best friends when you got all jealous about me going out with Logan!” I practically yelled and I heard a gasp from the crowd that had apparently formed around us.
 
“What the fu-ck McKale!” Poppy yelled looking at me like she didn’t even know who I was anymore.
 
I was about to say something when Logan pushed his way through the crowd that had formed around us. He looked at Poppy with a disgusted look than without a word wrapped his arm around my shoulders and directed me out of the crowd. I thought he was just rescuing me but apparently that wasn’t his only objective. When I looked up at him I saw that vein in his neck twitching and then I knew why he pulled me out of the crowd, he was mad. He’s gotten mad at me at school before, he knew where the janitor’s closet was that nobody even bothered using anymore, and he knew where to hit me so nobody would see but it would still hurt. I hated that closet the ten minutes we spent in there were probably misinterpreted by anybody that saw us go in, but when we got out my stomach felt like a sledgehammer thought it was a trampoline and my back throbbed from being pushed against the wall.
 
“Try not to attract so much damn attention” Logan snarled in my ear when he was finished. Standing straight he pushed the door open and mumbled, “Fucking attention whore.”
 
Quickly I followed behind him, well as fast as I could without needing to throw up. He didn’t put his arm around me for the rest of the day; I had to follow him around a few steps behind not saying anything. I was surprised when the day was over that he didn’t leave me at school, but thankfully he didn’t drive off before I could get to the car.
 
When we got back to the house Logan still wasn’t talking to me, he just jumped out of the car and slammed the front door in my face. I didn’t know what to do to make him not mad at me. Usually he would calm down by the time we got home but not this time it was like that vein in his neck was going to rupture from how much it’s been pumping.
 
“Logan…” I finally said, standing behind him. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
 
“Yeah right” Logan said shaking his head, his back still turned to me.
 
“It was Poppy she was just being jealous!” I tried to reason with him, I should know better than that, he was always right.
 
“Oh and it was Poppy that made everybody at school know you moved in?! Are you DEAF McKale?! Everyone at school is fu-cking talking about you moving in!!” he yelled finally turning around so he was inches from my face.
 
“I didn’t know that everyone would find out!” I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen.
 
“IT’S YOUR FAULT!” He yelled and hit me across the face causing me to fly in to the wall.
 
“I’m sorry!” I said loudly, hoping that maybe he just didn’t hear me the first time.
 
“If you are so fu-cking sorry…” he growled grabbing my shoulders and kissing me roughly. I didn’t like these kinds of kisses; they weren’t the same as the ones he gave me just a few days ago. He pushed me to the ground and did as he pleased until he really believed I was sorry. When he was done I didn’t get off the floor, I just lay there crying until I fell asleep.
 
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Sorry for the wait.
I have been soo busy lately.
But I have the day off school
Sooo HERE YOU GO :D